PEJ - May/June 2012

Resolving conflict
House’s position is conflict—“I
don’t see any conflict; that’s your
problem!”

The first step in resolving conflict is gaining an understanding of the sources of the conflict; the second is to have the courage to confront the conflict. Courage comes from a commitment and the knowledge that you possess the requisite skills.

In figure 1, from the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, assertiveness is defined as the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy his or her own concerns, and cooperativeness is the extent to which the individual attempts to satisfy the other person’s concerns.

So, someone who is being assertive and cooperative would be using a collaborating mode. As you read the following descriptions, you probably will find one or two that you use most frequently—that’s normal; skillful conflict managers have developed a wide repertoire of responses and select the approach that best fits the situation.

Competing

•;This combination of assertive and uncooperative is appropriate when a quick decisions and actions are imperative. You may not face many such situations except in emergencies. It is also an approach that may be appropriate when implementing unpopular but necessary changes in the organizational procedures or processes, such as downsizing. Another use is when you are certain you are right but do not have the time to present a detailed explanation of your reasons and the background.

Collaborating

•;When you combine assertiveness with cooperation, you have the basis for a mode that, given enough time and a sufficiently

important issue, may be the most valuable approach to solving conflict. This is the method to use when the issues are too important for compromise. You will also learn about the interests of the others involved. This is also the mode that will help you work through hard feelings that have been interfering with interpersonal relationships. Perhaps most importantly, this is the approach that will lead to strong commitment to the decisions that emerge. However, be cautious about moving into a collaborative mode when other techniques are better suited to the realities of the situation.

Compromising

•;Being midway between cooperative and uncooperative and between assertive and unassertive leads to a compromising approach to conflict management. It works best when goals are important but not overwhelmingly so. Compromise may be necessary when the people involved have equal power and are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals. Compromise is also a good technique when you need a short- term solution to a complex problem, or when you need to reach a quick solution and have a deadline. This is also useful when other modes have failed. However, remember that in compromise, no one is fully satisfied, so it should never be used in vital issues with ethical implications.

Avoiding

•;When you take on a stance that is
both unassertive and uncoopera-
tive, you are avoiding; this mode
does have legitimate uses—for
example, when an issue is insig-
nificant or of transient interest
or when spending time to resolve
the conflict would interfere with
more important issues. Avoiding is
also a reasonable mode when there
seems to be little chance of satis-
fying your concerns and when the
potential damage from confront-
ing a conflict outweighs the ben-
efits from resolving it. This is also
a valuable approach when people
need to cool down and return to
a rational emotional state. Delay
also makes sense when you need
to gather additional information
and when others are better posi-
tioned to resolve the issues.

Accommodating

•;Being unassertive and accommodating is the best combination when the issue is much more important to the other person that to you—when you need to build up "points" to use later—or if your long-term goal is to foster harmony and avoid disruption, and when you realize that you are wrong. This is a great technique to employ when your primary interest is the development of your staff.

Conflict resolution model

After uncovering the sources of conflict and considering the options available to get on with solving the problem, all you need is courage! There are several ways to build up your courage. (Forget about the kind that comes in a bottle.) The first is to have successful experiences; the second is to have a plan or a model to use. Here is a simple model to help you get beyond the fear that often comes with getting involved in a conflict.